The history of Chanukah

We here at BraveGirl want to wish everyone a happy holiday season, no matter what you celebrate. I am  a little late on getting this out there, but happy Chanukah. I thought since I've spent several weeks on origins and the meaning of Christmas. that I would find out about Chanukah as well and share it with my viewers:

What Is Hanukkah?

What Is Hanukkah?

Chanukah -- the eight-day festival of light that begins on the eve of the 25th of the Jewish month of Kislev -- celebrates the triumph of light over darkness, of purity over adulteration, of spirituality over materiality.
More than twenty-one centuries ago, the Holy Land was ruled by the Seleucids (Syrian-Greeks), who sought to forcefully Hellenize the people of Israel. Against all odds, a small band of faithful Jews defeated one of the mightiest armies on earth, drove the Greeks from the land, reclaimed the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and rededicated it to the service of G-d.
When they sought to light the Temple's menorah (the seven branched candelabrum), they found only a single cruse of olive oil that had escaped contamination by the Greeks; miraculously, the one-day supply burned for eight days, until new oil could be prepared under conditions of ritual purity.
To commemorate and publicize these miracles, the sages instituted the festival of Chanukah. At the heart of the festival is the nightly menorah (candelabrum) lighting: a single flame on the first night, two on the second evening, and so on till the eighth night of Chanukah, when all eight lights are kindled.
On Chanukah we also add the Hallel and Al HaNissim in our daily prayers to offer praise and thanksgiving to G-d for "delivering the strong into the hands of the weak, the many into the hands of the few... the wicked into the hands of the righteous."
Chanukah customs include eating foods fried in oil -- latkes (potato pancakes) and sufganiot (doughnuts); playing with the dreidel (a spinning top on which are inscribed the Hebrew letters nun, gimmel, hei and shin, an acronym for Nes Gadol Hayah Sham, "a great miracle happened there"); and the giving of Chanukah gelt, gifts of money, to children.

How to shake the winter blues.

So 80% of midwesterners (yes, that's a word, I swear) suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder or S.A.D. I thought for Health and Wellness Wednesday, we'd find out more about it. What it is exactly and how to cope with it.



Definition:

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that's related to changes in seasons — SAD begins and ends at about the same times every year. If you're like most people with SAD, your symptoms start in the fall and continue into the winter months, sapping your energy and making you feel moody. Less often, SAD causes depression in the spring or early summer.

Symptoms:

n most cases, seasonal affective disorder symptoms appear during late fall or early winter and go away during the sunnier days of spring and summer. However, some people with the opposite pattern have symptoms that begin in spring or summer. In either case, symptoms may start out mild and become more severe as the season progresses.

Major depression

Seasonal affective disorder is a subtype of major depression that comes and goes based on seasons. So symptoms of major depression may be part of SAD, such as:

• Feeling depressed most of the day, nearly every day
• Feeling hopeless or worthless
• Having low energy
• Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed
• Having problems with sleeping
• Experiencing changes in your appetite or weight
• Feeling sluggish or agitated
• Having difficulty concentrating
• Having frequent thoughts of death or suicide

Fall and winter SAD

Symptoms specific to winter-onset SAD, sometimes called winter depression, may include:

• Irritability
• Tiredness or low energy
• Problems getting along with other people
• Hypersensitivity to rejection
• Heavy, "leaden" feeling in the arms or legs
• Oversleeping
• Appetite changes, especially a craving for foods high in carbohydrates
• Weight gain

Spring and summer SAD

Symptoms specific to summer-onset seasonal affective disorder, sometimes called summer depression, may include:

• Depression
• Trouble sleeping (insomnia)
• Weight loss
• Poor appetite
• Agitation or anxiety

Seasonal changes in bipolar disorder

In some people with bipolar disorder, spring and summer can bring on symptoms of mania or a less intense form of mania (hypomania), and fall and winter can be a time of depression.

When to see a doctor

It's normal to have some days when you feel down. But if you feel down for days at a time and you can't get motivated to do activities you normally enjoy, see your doctor. This is especially important if your sleep patterns and appetite have changed or if you feel hopeless, think about suicide, or turn to alcohol for comfort or relaxation.

Treatment:

Treatment for seasonal affective disorder may include light therapy, medications and psychotherapy. If you have bipolar disorder, tell your doctor — this is critical to know when prescribing light therapy or an antidepressant. Both treatments can potentially trigger a manic episode.

Light therapy

In light therapy, also called phototherapy, you sit a few feet from a special light therapy box so that you're exposed to bright light. Light therapy mimics natural outdoor light and appears to cause a change in brain chemicals linked to mood.

Light therapy is one of the first line treatments for fall-onset SAD. It generally starts working in a few days to two weeks and causes few side effects. Research on light therapy is limited, but it appears to be effective for most people in relieving SAD symptoms.

Before you purchase a light therapy box, talk with your doctor about the best one for you, and familiarize yourself with the variety of features and options so that you buy a high-quality product that's safe and effective.

Medications

Some people with SAD benefit from antidepressant treatment, especially if symptoms are severe.

An extended-release version of the antidepressant bupropion (Wellbutrin XL, Aplenzin) may help prevent depressive episodes in people with a history of SAD. Other antidepressants also may commonly be used to treat SAD.

Your doctor may recommend starting treatment with an antidepressant before your symptoms typically begin each year. He or she may also recommend that you continue to take the antidepressant beyond the time your symptoms normally go away.

Keep in mind that it may take several weeks to notice full benefits from an antidepressant. In addition, you may have to try different medications before you find one that works well for you and has the fewest side effects.

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy, also called talk therapy, is another option to treat SAD. Psychotherapy can help you:

• Identify and change negative thoughts and behaviors that may be making you feel worse
• Learn healthy ways to cope with SAD
• Learn how to manage stress

Life Style and Home Remedies:

• Make your environment sunnier and brighter. Open blinds, trim tree branches that block sunlight or add skylights to your home. Sit closer to bright windows while at home or in the office.
• Get outside. Take a long walk, eat lunch at a nearby park, or simply sit on a bench and soak up the sun. Even on cold or cloudy days, outdoor light can help — especially if you spend some time outside within two hours of getting up in the morning.
• Exercise regularly. Exercise and other types of physical activity help relieve stress and anxiety, both of which can increase SAD symptoms. Being more fit can make you feel better about yourself, too, which can lift your mood.

The meaning behind it all

With Christmas being next week, I'm all about "what does it all mean??" and "where did these traditions start. I figured I'm not the only one, so I figured that I'd hook my readers up with where things came from.


First up, the Christmas tree:

The Christmas tree comes to us from Germany. Martin Luther is credited with being inspired by the starry heavens one night, and expressing his feelings to his family by bringing a fir tree into his home, and attaching lighted candles to its branches. Fir meant fire, and fire is an ancient symbol for spirit. The tree also pointed toward the heavens.

Evergreens were thought to represent the ever-burning fire of life. The color green signified the life force through the year. Eventually decorative balls represented the planets, while the star that radiates from the top reminds us of Bethlehem. The entire tree and decorations teach us that the universe is witness to the Incarnation.

Red at Christmas reminds us of the fire of the Spirit. Green affirms nature, and the ongoing life. And in the Incarnation, Spirit unites with nature.

In fact, the Christmas tree symbolizes to us a further appreciation of Jesus' birth. It is a means of retelling a miracle in a colorful and beautiful way so that we can further understand and appreciate Jesus' entering our world.

Actually, the tree is a reinterpretation of pagan rites, along with the use of other greens and decorations to commemorate in ancient times a celebration of the feast of Saturnalia - the birth of the Sun in the sky at the Winter Solstice. Along with the giving of gifts, the feast was later Christianized with the selection of December 25th to announce the birth of the Son of God to the world.

The tree also tells the story of a cosmic event - a mystery. In personal celebrations of Christmas the tree begins its use in the 16th century, and is later brought to America by German immigrants.

The heavens and earth rejoice in the coming of the Lord of Life. Our decision must be either for our Christmas tree to represent the celebration of the birth of Christ, or simply an acknowledgment of the pagan festival of the Winter Solstice.

Next? The yummy Candy Cane. LOVE THEM:

When the practice of using Christmas trees to celebrate Christmas became popular in Europe the people there began making decorations for their trees. Many of the decorations were food items including cookies and candy. The predecesor of our modern candy cane appeared at about this time in the seventeenth century. These were straight, white sticks of sugar candy.

Part of the Christmas celebration at the Cologne Cathedral were pagents of living creches. In about 1670 the choirmaster there had sticks of candy bent into the shape of a shepherd’s crook and passed them out to children who attended the ceremonies. This became a popular tradition, and eventually the practice of passing out the sugar canes at living creche ceremonies spread throughout Europe.

The use of candy canes on Christmas trees made its way to America by the 1800’s, however during this time they were still pure white. They are represented this way on Christmas cards made before 1900, and it is not until the early 20th century that they appear with their familiar red stripes. Today candy canes along with toerh sugars and fats that come with Christmas food have become a huge industry; along with the diet industry like theMedifast diet that comes after Christmas.

Many people have given religious meaning to the shape and form of the candy cane. It is said that its shape is like the letter “J” in Jesus’ name. It is also in the shape of the shepherds’ crook, symbolic of how Jesus, like the “Good Shepherd” watches over his children like little lambs. It is a hard candy, solid like a “rock”, the foundation of the Church. The flavor of peppermint is similar to another member of the mint family, hyssop. In the Old Testament hyssop was used for purification and sacrifice, and this is said to symbolize the purity of Jesus and the sacrifice he made.

Some say the white of the candy cane represents the purity of Jesus and his virgin birth. The bold red stripe represents God’s love. The three fine stripes are said by some to represent the Holy Trinity: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Others say they represent the blood spilled at the beating Jesus received at the hands of the Roman soldiers.

From its plain early beginnings to its familiar shape and color of today, the candy cane is a symbol of Christmas and a reminder of the meaning of the holiday.

So we covered Santa Claus, but where did the reindeer come from?

Sure, they pull Santa's sleigh at Christmas, but why? Who elected Reindeer? This legendary scenario makes its public appearance in the 1800s in the poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas." Also known as the "Night Before Christmas" we are enchanted by the eight tiny reindeer Santa calls out by name. This may have come from the early Norse myths in which Thor, the thunderous One was transported by a chariot pulled by goat who later morphed into reindeer as the legend was retold over time. I'm not sure about that, but I do know reindeer are symbolic of savvy knowing and they are cunning survivalists able to live in brutal environments. Indigenous people would have observed the reindeer pawing beneath packed snow to access nutritive greens. From this observation, our ancestors would have known where to go for medicinal herbs. Reindeer are one of the first beasts of provision - meaning the first upon humankind relied for food, supplies, warm clothing, tools. This puts the Reindeer on high status - worthy of honoring - and so it is an animal of nobility, worthiness and is symbolic of continuing the tribe (as it provides for its needs). But how can they fly? Reindeer have been known to have a taste for certain hallucinogenic mushrooms, and have been seen to act pretty loopy after consuming them. Apparently they were "flying high" in a hallucinogenic kind of way. This may explain the flying reindeer phenomenon.

And finally, why do we give each other presents at Christmas?

People give gifts at Christmas for many reasons. People who love and follow Jesus give gifts to remember the true "Gift" - Jesus. Giving presents also remind us of the gifts the wise men brought to Jesus: gold, frankincense and myrrh. They also give gifts to show their love for their families and friends. Some people tell the story of Santa Claus-a pretend figure whose kindness in giving gifts originates with Saint Nicholas who did, in fact, give gifts to the poor. But Santa Claus has nothing to do with the true meaning of Christmas.

In the original, pagan Christmas-which was not called Christmas, since it was not about Christ--gifts were given. But to Christians, gifts are given at Christmas as an opportunity to show love. Sadly, this season has been taken as a commercial opportunity and many people indulge in materialism and forget the true meaning of Christmas.

The origin of Christmas

Okay, so, in case you haven't been told; I'm a HUGE nerd. Like ginormous even. Having my own blog to manage allows me to take my nerdiness to new levels and share it with the world. With it being Christmas, I was sitting around trying to figure out what I wanted to write about this week (thanks to the friend that suggested "Christmas-y stuff... good lookin' out). And then it hit me.
We all know what Christmas is supposed to symbolize, but how did it get it's start? When did it become a national holiday? Where and when did Santa enter the picture?

The following articles break it down for us:

The Rise of Christmas as a National Holiday in America

By: Travis Dodge

On June 28th, 1870, President Ulysses S. Grant signed the bill to make Christmas a legal holiday in the United States of America. Also on the bill was the declaration of the 4th of July and Thanksgiving as holidays as well. It was originally introduced into the House of Representatives by Rep. Burton Chauncey Cook of Illinois.
Christmas had been celebrated by Christians as early as 354 A.D., but was mostly a communal feast to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ on December 25th. This days was chosen during the 4th century by Church leadership in Rome because it was the date of the Southern Solstice, because of it's "cosmic symbolism."
Christmas first came to America along with the British Colonialists, although many of the Puritan leaders disapproved of the holiday. After the American Revolution, the holiday dropped in popularity due to it being seen as an English custom. However, in the 1820s a public interest in Christmas was revived by Washington Irving's short stories in his books The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon and Old Christmas, where he recounts Christmas traditions. In 1822, Clement Clarke Moore wrote the poem A Visit From St. Nicolas, more popularly known by it's first line: 'Twas the night before Christmas. This is the point when Christmas first became associated with commercialism and the annual purchase of gifts. With the publishing of Charles Dickens's novel A Christmas Carol in 1843, it's popularity as a holiday of good will and generosity began to rise.
Christmas had reached a new high in popularity in the 1870s, prompting the 18th President of the United States to sign it into law as a holiday. Since then, the holiday seems to have taken on a life of its own. Getting further from the original intention of the day (a recognition and celebration of the birthday of the Christian savior Jesus Christ), Christmas has become a time when humanity is encouraged to set their petty differences aside and to celebrate being with each other with gift-giving.
However, over time, the holiday has become more of a part of the economy than a religious holiday, with it's dramatic increase of people buying presents for each other. It has become the largest annual economic stimulus for many countries around the world. Not the day itself, but the shopping season that leads up to it. Christmas Day in reality is the least active day for business and commerce, seeing as most businesses are closed due to it being a national holiday.



Santa really did exist!!!!!!!!!!!!


A Children's Sermon adapted by the Rev. George Philip Hoy from Calendar of Christianity by Allan Hauck, Association Press

Postcard, Austria St Nicholas Center Collection

When did Santa Claus begin? We all know that only God is eternal. So how did this wonderful Christmas character who is so giving begin? We didn't make him up. Saint Nicholas, whose name was changed over the years to Santa Claus, was a real person, a bishop in the church in the fourth century.
Saint Nicholas was born in Patara (Asia Minor) and later moved to Myra (Demre in modern Turkey), where he was elected bishop. He died on Dec. 6 sometime between A. D. 326 and 341. Many stories have been told of his generosity.
In Saint Nicholas' time, a young woman had to have a dowry (money or material things which she brought to her husband) before she could be married. It's a custom we have eliminated in our culture because we believe in the equality of women and men. Saint Nicholas wanted to help a poor nobleman with three daughters, but he wanted to do it anonymously (without anyone knowing who did it). He didn't want to be praised for his generosity. He gave for the joy of giving. So, three bags of gold were thrown through the nobleman's window. However, the nobleman found out who had given the gold for his daughters' dowries. After that, anonymous gifts of charity often were attributed to Saint Nicholas.
This good man also spent several years in prison because of his faith. Many prisoners were converted to the Christian faith by his witness.
The stories of Saint Nicholas came to America through the Dutch settlers in the state of New York. He has changed through the years.
Originally, he was dressed in his traditional Bishop's robes. It wasn't until the 20th century that he began to be dressed in the red and white outfit in which he appears to us now in the persons of his many "helpers." In fact, in 1874, the American cartoonist Thomas Nast drew him in a brown suit with brown fur trim.
Dr. Clement C. Moore, a professor of Greek and Biblical Studies at General Theological Seminary of New York, wrote "A Visit from St. Nicholas" (more commonly know as "Twas the Night Before Christmas") in 1822. Only eight reindeer pulled Santa's sleigh until the song "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was written.
Jesus, the Christ (the Messiah) is the most important person in the Advent/Christmas season. However, since Saint Nicholas conveys a spirit of generosity and love, we remember him and we too give gifts. Because Saint Nicholas gave us such a good example of helping the poor, Santa Claus may well be a healthy part of our celebrations. As Allan Hauck wrote in Calendar of Christianity, If Santa Claus has become too commercial, too secularized, perhaps it is "because we have forgotten his historical origin in the beloved Bishop of Myra who obeyed Christ's command that we help all those who are in need."

The Man Behind the Story of Father Christmas/Santa Claus

St. Nicholas was a Bishop who lived in the fourth century AD in a place called Myra in Asia Minor (now called Turkey). He was a very rich man because his parents died when he was young and left him a lot of money. He was also a very kind man and had a reputation for helping the poor and giving secret gifts to people who needed it. There are several legends about St. Nicholas, although we don't know if any of them are true!

Image from the St. Nicholas Center
www.stnicholascenter.org

The most famous story about St. Nicholas tells how the custom of hanging up stockings to get presents in first started! It goes like this:
There was a poor man who had three daughters. He was so poor, he did not have enough money for a dowry, so his daughters couldn't get married. (A dowry is a sum of money paid to the bridegroom by the brides parents on the wedding day. This still happens in some countries, even today.) One night, Nicholas secretly dropped a bag of gold down the chimney and into the house (This meant that the oldest daughter was then able to be married.). The bag fell into a stocking that had been hung by the fire to dry! This was repeated later with the second daughter. Finally, determined to discover the person who had given him the money, the father secretly hid by the fire every evening until he caught Nicholas dropping in a bag of gold. Nicholas begged the man to not tell anyone what he had done, because he did not want to bring attention to himself. But soon the news got out and when anyone received a secret gift, it was thought that maybe it was from Nicholas.
Because of his kindness Nicholas was made a Saint. St. Nicholas is not only the saint of children but also of sailors! One story tells of him helping some sailors that were caught in a dreadful storm off the coast of Turkey. The storm was raging around them and all the men were terrified that their ship would sink beneath the giant waves. They prayed to St. Nicholas to help them. Suddenly, he was standing on the deck before them. He ordered the sea to be calm, the storm died away, and they were able to sail their ship safely to port.
St. Nicholas was exiled from Myra and later put in prison during the persecution by the Emperor Diocletian. No one is really knows when he died, but it was on 6th December in either 345 or 352 AD. In 1087, his bones were stolen from Turkey by some Italian merchant sailors. The bones are now kept in the Church named after him in the Italian port of Bari. On St. Nicholas feast day (6th December), the sailors of Bari still carry his statue from the Cathedral out to sea, so that he can bless the waters and so give them safe voyages throughout the year.
You can find out lots about about St Nicholas at the St. Nicholas Center.

How St. Nicholas Became Santa Claus

In the 16th Century in Europe, the stories and traditions about St. Nicholas had become very unpopular.
But someone had to deliver presents to children at Christmas, so in the UK, he became 'Father Christmas', a character from old children's stories; in France, he was then known as 'Père Nöel'; in Germany, the 'Christ Kind'. In the early USA his name was 'Kris Kringle'. Later, Dutch settlers in the USA took the old stories of St. Nicholas with them and Kris Kringle became 'Sinterklaas' or as we now say 'Santa Claus'!
Many countries, especially ones in Europe, celebrate St. Nicholas' Day on 6th December. In Holland and some other European Countries, children leave clogs or shoes out to be filled with presents. They also believe that if they leave some hay and carrots in their shoes for Sinterklaas's horse, they will be left some sweets.
St. Nicholas became popular again in the Victorian era when writers, poets and artists rediscovered the old stories.
In 1823 the famous poem 'A Visit from St. Nicholas' or 'T'was the Night before Christmas', was published. Dr Clement Clarke Moore later claimed that he had written it for his children. However, some scholars now believe that it was actually written by Henry Livingston, Jr., who was a distant relative of Dr Moore's wife. The poem describes eight reindeer and gives them their names. They became really well known in the song 'Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer', written in 1949. Do you know all eight names? Click on Rudolph's nose to find out!

Click my nose to find out more about my friends!

Did you know that Rudolph might actually be a girl!? Only female reindeer keep their antlers throughout winter. By Christmas time most males have discarded their antlers and are saving their energy ready to grow a new pair in the spring.
The UK Father Christmas and the American Santa Claus became more and more alike over the years and are now one and the same.
Some people say that Santa lives at the North Pole. In Finland, they say that he lives in the north part of their country called Lapland.
But everyone agrees that he travels through the sky on a sledge that is pulled by reindeer, that he comes into houses down the chimney at night and places presents for the children in socks or bags by their beds, in front of the family Christmas tree, or by the fire place.

Most children receive their presents on Christmas Eve night or early Christmas morning, but in some countries they get their presents on St. Nicholas' Day, December 6th.
St. Nicholas putting the bag of gold into a stocking is probably where the custom of having a tangerine or satsuma at the bottom of your Christmas stocking came from. If people couldn't afford gold, some golden fruit was a good replacement - and until the last 50 years these were quite unusual fruits and so still special!
The biggest Christmas stocking was 51m 35cm (168ft 5.65in) long and 21m 63cm (70ft 11.57in) wide (from the heel to the toe). It was made the volunteer emergency services organisation Pubblica Assistenza Carrara e Sezioni (Italy) in Carrara, Tuscany, Italy, on 5th January 2011. Just think how many presents you could fit in that!

Santa Claus and Coca-Cola

St. Nicholas in Harper's Weekly: January 1863

There's a Christmas Urban Legend that says that Santa's red suit was designed by Coca-Cola and that they might even 'own' Santa!
This is definitely NOT TRUE!
Long before coke had been invented, St Nicholas had worn his Bishop's red robes. During Victorian times, he wore a range of colours (red, green, blue and brown fur) but red was always his favourite!
In January 1863, the magazine Harper's Weekly published the first illustration of St Nicholas/St Nick by Thomas Nast. In this he was wearing a 'Stars and Stripes' outfit! Over the next 20 years Thomas Nast continued to draw Santa every Christmas and his works were very popular indeed (he must have been very good friends with Santa to get such good access!).
This is when Santa really started to develop his big tummy and the style of red and white outfit he wears today. Nast designed Santa's look on some historical information about Santa and the poem 'A Visit from St. Nicholas'.

St. Nicholas in Harper's Weekly: January 1881

On January 1st 1881, Harper's Weekly published Nast's most famous image of Santa, complete with a big red belly, an arm full of toys and smoking a pipe!
This image of Santa became very popular, with more artists drawing Santa in his red and white costume from 1900 to 1930.
By 1931, when Coke first used Santa in their advertising, his image was well established. The first 'Coke Santa' was drawn by artist Haddon Sundblom. He took the idea of Nast's Santa but made him even more larger than life and jolly, replaced the pipe with a bottle of Coke and created the famous Coke holding Santa!
Coca-Cola also agree that the red suit was made popular by Thomas Nast not them!

Christmas Decor 2014

So I have a new, ground floor apartment with a patio. For the first time in six years I have an outside to decorate. And I am SO on it. So being that it's fashion Friday - we're going to talk this years trends on Christmas decorations.

101 Fresh Christmas Decorating Ideas

Bring cheer to your house this holiday season with these easy decorating ideas.

Photo: Laurey W. Glenn

Create a Warm Welcome

Our favorite way to light up the season is with a brilliant array of paper luminaries. Line them along front walks, driveways, and porches for a fiery Christmas display that's so simple (and affordable) to pull off.To create your own gleaming arrangement, generously cover the bottom of white paper bags with sand, which will keep them sturdy and stationary when exposed to the elements. Arrange bags in desired positions (the luminaries lining the walk above at left all 2 feet apart), and then insert tea lights or battery-operated LEDs.
Bright Idea! For a twist, use a hole punch to create snowflake patterns, or adhere letter-shaped stickers spelling out a holiday message such as "NOEL" or "CHEERS" to the bags. (Safety note: Never leave luminaries unattended, and extinguish the flames when finished.)

There are 102 ideas for decorating so click here to see the rest of them. They're fabulous!

How to Stay Sane During the Holidays

It’s health and wellness day here at the BraveGirl blog. Usually, I put up something about physical health. Whether it’s about exercise or healthy recipes. But during the holidays, I think that it is extra important to focus on our mental health. A lot of us have hard Thanksgiving and Christmas’ due to having suffered a loss around that time. December 28, will make 27 years that my father has been gone. I still struggle with that day and find myself slipping into the dumps around this time. So the sadness is very real, whatever the reason. And though it may be hard, we need to push ourselves into making the holidays into meaning something again – even as we adjust to a “new normal”.

Not that I’m an expert, by any means but I thought I’d share a few things that I’m doing to ensure that I can at least tolerate the holidays a little more.

1.       I’m forcing myself to get out of the house. Being that I live in Michigan, I may not be able to do that for much longer if the weather gets crazy like it did last year. So while I can, when I feel like curling under the blankets and forgetting about everything until January, I grab my lap top and go somewhere. Having deadlines and things to do for BraveGirl that take priority has definitely helped. I have understanding friends so when I call them and say “I’m isolating”, they’re making plans with me to help me get out of my funk. I spent Thanksgiving with my aunt and got to see a cousin that I haven’t seen in years (and by “in years” I mean a decade) and that, in and of itself has helped me kick off the festivities on the right note.

2.       I decorated the house for Christmas. The years that I actually do a tree, I tend to do a two, maybe 3 colored theme tree and I’ve wanted to do a black and white tree on a white tree with clear lights for years. So imagine my sheer glee when I got a white tree for $28 on Black Friday that is pre-lit with clear lights. And the black, white and silver bulbs were in a pack for less than $10. Another aunt and my mother sent down some new Christmas decorations and I’m set. I was giggling and dancing while I put them around the house.

3.       I’m starting a Christmas card exchange with friends on FB. When I first got out on my own, I sat down and sent out a gazillion of those things. To like 40 people. When 3 people sent their own (and one of them was my cousin, so that doesn’t really count), I got mad and from that day forward, I get cards for the inner circle and my boyfriend. But in the interest of getting outside of myself, I figure I’ll send them to people who appreciate them. And I like doing things for other people.

4.       I love Christmas music. In fact, I’m sure I’ll probably do a blog on my top favorites. Even when I’m gettin’ my Grinch on, I’ll still listen to my Christmas music. But the traditional stuff bores me. Love the poppy, different versions. And my love for the Trans Siberian Orchestra is infinite. My Thanksgiving night usually starts with listening to Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” and New Kid’s On the Block’s “Funky, Funky Christmas” (Don’t hate, that Christmas album is GREAT). The other day, I was in a horrible, un-Christmasy mood and put Mariah Carey Christmas station on my Pandora and it took about a half hour, but eventually, I felt my mood start to lift and started to sing along (Jon Bon Jovi’s Christmas music influenced that by a LOT).

5.       So to piggy back on the music – the Christmas movies!!! ZOMG! My favorite thing to do in the world around this time of year is to go MIA for a couple of days and make popcorn with melted chocolate to dip it in, grab my lap top, get into warm jammies and chill on the couch and switch between ABC Family and Hallmark and watch their original programming.

6.       I’m still working on this next one, but this year, I’m going to give back. I’ve had a rocky year and had to ask for help from places that I don’t normally turn to, but they helped me without having to be asked twice. So in the spirit of giving, I’m going to volunteer somewhere. Whether it’s at the children’s ward in the hospital or a soup kitchen or even at the animal shelter, it’s time for me to realize that it’s not all about me. I’m not the only person that’s struggled. I’m incredibly blessed and I know this. I’m going to show my thanks by showing kindness to people who may not see it very often.

7.       While I’m doing all of this to make sure I’m in a better place mentally, I don’t plan on ignoring the 28^th. I never do. When I tried, things just got worse for me. I’ve made peace with the fact that 3 days after Christmas is going to be hard – no matter how much I paste on a smile the rest of December. I stick to myself that day and allow myself to miss my dad. I play his favorite songs and look at pictures and relive happy memories. I’m saying this more specifically for the people who lost relatives around this time or for those of you that are experiencing the “new normal” for the first time. Trying to push past the hurt and the sadness like it’s not there is going to stretch out the pain and the heartache. I read somewhere that it takes 3 cycles of holidays for it to start to get easier. So allow yourself time to mourn and feel that loss. And then smile and be thankful for having your loved one for as long as you did.

8.       I have some friends that have been doing a picture a day for a year of things that make them happy. Others did #100 days of happiness picture challenges. I would never be able to remember that, but I subscribed to a lot of positive quotes and affirmation pages on facebook and try to pick one a day to keep in the front of my mind for the day so if things get dicey for me, I think of it, take a deep breath and try to exhale the negative energy.

9.       Be kind to others, even when they aren’t to you. I’ve been trying to keep in mind that a lot of people are grumpy and rude from like Halloween until New Years. Just because they’re wallowing in their misery doesn’t mean I have to. Someone picked an unnecessary argument with me and in the middle of starting to answer back, I stopped and said “You know what? Okay,” and walked off, even though they continued. When I left where I was at, this person said “Have a blessed day.” I swallowed what I really wanted to say and said “You too. Have a blessed holiday.” And I felt better because I’d let the negative feelings go.

10.   It is REALLY easy to get wrapped up in our own misery and feel bad about our situation around the holidays. Not just because of the bad memories associated with this time of year, but the stupid weather is just, stupid. And I don’t know about you, but winter seems like the longest season out of all of them (I was convinced that last January was never going to end). So I wrote a list of everything I’m thankful for and put it somewhere I can see it. And because I physically wrote it out, it’s easier to call to memory during those times where I’m getting down on myself for not being where I want to be or having exactly what I want to have.

None of these things are easy. It takes work, but I truly believe that the holidays are only as hard as we make them. Life throws a lot of things at us that we can’t control. But our mindset and how we deal with things is completely up to us.

Happy Holidays, friends!

Holiday Movies to Get You in the Christmas Spirit.

Christmas is upon us! The holidays make a lot of people sad. Truth be told, I'm usually one of them. I have made a conscious decision to fight the Bah hum bugs and make my Christmas a good one this year. The first way I'm doing that, is loading up on the Christmas movies. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE them.

You know what's coming don't you? My list of what to watch. Now, before we get to that, let me remind you that this is my list. I didn't get it off the internet, or from an article. So you may not see your favorites on there. I can tell you now that you won't see Miracle on 34th Street or It's a Wonderful Life (yes, I'm ready for the hate mail). Not that they aren't great movies, but I'm really not a traditional movie type of person.

Without further ado, here's the list of what to watch:

* As an honorable mention, I'd like to give a shout out to The HallMark Channel and ABC Family for their stellar original Christmas movies. I could do an entire list just on their movies. It's possible to just chill on the couch and watch those channels all weekend and eat popcorn and write (I do this every year).

10. Ernest Saves Christmas

Okay, so maybe I lose cool points for this one, but I LOVE Ernest. At one point, I had all of his movies. And this is one of my top favorites. Ernest is a bumbling idiot but his heart is in the right place as he helps a runaway find the true meaning of Christmas. It's light hearted and funny and again, it's ERNEST!!!

9.Home Alone 1 & 2

Classics never get old. This is how every single one of us over 30 remember Macaulay Culkin. They're just a lot of fun to watch and they're good family movies to share with the kids.

8. Scrooged

This may be a little lesser known... well.... remembered. Starring Bill Murray it's a take on the Christmas Carroll. It was the 80's way of keeping it relevant. It really brings the Christmas Carroll alive and I just love it.

7.The Santa Clause series

I absolutely love this series. It's festive, it's fun and the second one helped inspire a project that I'm working on. It's hard to find sequels that are as good as the first and I think that they get better as they go along. The 3rd one is my absolute favorite of the series.

6. The Grinch That Stole Christmas - Live Action

Jim Carey stole my heart in this movie. He does SUCH a great job of bringing the Grinch to life and making him lovable villain.

5. Frozen

I am so going to get shot and probably more hate mail for putting this one at number 5. So before you hit send on the message where you're cussing me out - let me say this. I LOVE this movie. It's one of my top five ALL TIME favorites. But as far as classifying it as a Christmas movie, I'm not sure if I'm completely behind it - but any excuse to watch Frozen is a good one.

4. A Charlie Brown Christmas

Again, classics never get old. My favorite part is when Snoopy licks Lucy and she freaks out. I watch that movie specifically for that part. LOL.

3. The Polar Express

Okay, so can I just say - STEVEN TYLER AS AN ELF!!!!!!! :ahem: I experienced this movie as it should be - in the theaters. I went on the Thanksgiving it came out and was GLUED to the screen the entire time. Everything about that movie is amazing.

2. Arthur Christmas

This is one of the most original ideas I've seen. And I think that's why I love it so much. Not just the graphics and the acting but the attention to details in the story. It's very engaging and it's something I try to watch at least once.

1. Rise of the Guardians

Okay so I am absolutely, head over heels in LOVE with this movie. Rise of the Guardians is THE most original movie I think I've ever seen in the history of ever. There is not one bad thing I could say about it. Rise of the Guardians is my Frozen. I was really upset when I couldn't find any RotG swag. I am excited to announce that 2015 brings a Rise of the Guardians 2.